I’m not a fan of Halloween. I love horror movies (sci fi horror movies are the best!) and I love candy, but the trappings of Halloween are not something that grab my attention. Indeed, my porch light is turned off, I’m at the back of the house with the dogs, and the bowl of candy on the kitchen island will be consumed by my roommate and me. The costumed kids and their parental chaperones can ring the doorbell all they like; that door is staying closed and that candy is going in my mouth.
I guess that I’m turning into a Halloween curmudgeon a little more each year, but the whole concept of the holiday annoys me. For example, I fail to understand why parents warn their children about the dangers of talking to strangers 364 days of the year but on October 31 suspend that rule and encourage their kids to talk to as many strangers as they can meet. Talk about sending kids a mixed message.
And don’t get me started on the whole “trick-or-treat” routine, which is tantamount to domestic terrorism and extortion – essentially a payoff of candy to ward off a threat of property damage, again approved (and overseen) by adoring parental chaperones. I wonder what these kids would do if someone called their bluff and says “trick”.
Sorry kids, but I have enough demands on my paycheck without prioritizing the purchasing of candy to hand out to you for free. Make it a tax deduction and maybe I’ll reconsider my stance, but for now the cash stays in my wallet where it belongs.
My next steps for Halloween
It’s 8:06pm here in Chandler and the driveway traffic has died off, so the Halloween routine is almost over for another year. At least with the porch light turned off I’m saving some $’s on my electricity bill, so I guess it’s not all bad. Time to pack it in for the night, find a scary movie on tv, and start making progress on that bowl of candy.
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